War with Art

When I was younger, I was at war with art. I had this understanding that it was an unnecessary thing in society that children were forced to study because it was something that our less sophisticated ancestors did, and the tradition needed to be continued.

I was deeply, deeply wrong.

Since the beginning of time, people have described religious experiences. These have occurred on many different levels including seeing a physical spiritual being. For the most part, however,
these have consisted of deeply personal and inexpressible moments in time that shape our lives forever.

Somewhere in the middle of my high school career, I realized that there was something missing in my life, so I took up pottery as a recreational activity. I didn't really realize that I had been
mastering an art form until one day my friend invited me to attend a seminar where young artists get together and develop their skills further. I reluctantly joined, but realized that it would be
at least half-fun when I realized that one of the people I admire most in the world was going to preside the meetings.

This was the thing that was going to fill the hole that I felt in my life. However, I didn't realize how gaping the mouth was and how deep the crack until I began this weekly ritual.

I believe that I will never be able to describe what happened in that room. This was the first truly spiritual experience that I ever had. I passionately consider each second of these meetings week after week to be deeply-spiritual, religious experiences, and they have shaped my view of the world and of myself permanently.

Several things came from that:

• I realized that I am an artist at heart and that is what I do every morning, I get up and create what will happen that day.
• I realized that I can create beautiful things that communicate to other people and that they can appreciate.
• I realized that everyone on earth is an artist in his own way and that he strives to create in one way or another—some people just happen to make a profession out of it.
• I gained the confidence to really be an artist.

This shaped me in ways that I can't explain, but it patched a big hole in my life and set me up for the rest of my life, or so I thought.

I actually had a spiritual experience today that I hold at that level. It struck me by surprise because I guess somehow I felt that I had received my allotment for my life.

I decided to study at The Aegean Center for the Fine Arts to continue my studies in the arts and put final touches on my ability to create art and get it out into the world. I never dreamed that I would experience something on a higher plane, and here, three weeks into the program, I've had such a profound experience that I can't help but believe that this again will be one of those life-defining moments.

In producing my art, I got pretty stuck in the mundane technical aspects. You put this type of paper in this developer and it comes out like this and you could do this or that to it to change it
and make it perfect. I think that I got pretty stuck in the fact that I was just making an image and it was going to create an effect, and I guess I felt like I had no more control after I hit the shutter. Bam! That photo was made.

I met someone today that really loves the process. This man had a communication to deliver to the world and he knew exactly what it was the second that he clicked the shutter. He had the technical
aspects down so well and all that was going on was the fact that he saw the world in a new way or he had a new experience that he was interested in sharing with the world.

I also discovered again that through the things that the artists have been saying through history, they really have effected the changes in this world. Through the things that they are saying results are created. People become aware of the artists view of things and they realize something deeper there and change.

I guess I kind of forgot about that part. It all came and hit me at once. As he sat there going through photo after photo showing us the things that he had to say about the world, I realized that that was what I had been missing. I was being sucked into the technical aspects of what it was that I was doing. Of course, I needed to be patient and do whatever it took to get the effect that I was trying to create, but what WAS the effect? What was my communication. I was trying to say something when I was pressing the shutter. My frustration with the arts shattered, and I realized once again that I wasn't trying to duplicate reality exactly. I have something to say, and I'm here studying how to get that thing said!