Big Day!!

Basically, big, fat blowout win; hugely happy girl; girl wins the war; happiness has returned again; super inecredible things. Don't know what I'm describing? It's my life in the darkroom.

Today, I actually went into the darkroom with my instructor, and we went over how to develop and then did an entire session together for three hours. It was hugely amazing. I learned so much and I found out where it was that I was falling down so many times before. Basically, I have rehabilitated as an artist in the field of photography. I bought the really expensive paper (17 Euros for 10 sheets, but it can be cut) that I can use to get real results, and that's exactly what I got. I was so happy and excited and just relieved to discover that I CAN do my art, the one that I love and have held so close to me forever. I now have at my disposal any way I want to get my images shown to the world. It's just incredible, and if you could see the difference in my work now and…ever, you would be so proud of me. It's so exciting.

This morning, I printed a photo of a Cypress Alley, and it was cool. The proof prints were ok, but when I actually made a final print, I took it out into the light for the first time and actually said, "That's beautiful," about my own work, it really was a spiritual and mythic moment…I LOVE it!

I fell in love with the process of photography, but I was tricking myself into believing that I wouldn't be able to do it and that I really didn't like it, but I was so dead wrong. My impatience and frustration all dissipated as I watched my images appear under the developer while I watched the clock and agitated the tray. It was SOOOOOOO amazing. I just adore it! I am addicted now and I have prints now of another subject that are just ready for the last little chemical touch (selenium toning).

I have also gone through all of my negatives (that I was convinced were horrible) and discovered several photos that I want to work on. I'm so excited. I have a series of three donkey photos that I want to work on and I also have a portrait of my favorite Greek person on the planet. I have plenty of work to do, and I know that I will spend the next month in the darkroom creating some of the most incredible images possible!

I love it. I am just so, so happy that I'm so sorted out now and that John and Liz were there to pull me out. It's so great. I'm sorry for using the expensive paper, but the way that it rehabbed me and really showed me what I can do, I'm willing to not eat for weeks to keep up this addiction! In other news, I went to painting today and did really well. I have had several paintings in progress and it's been a little interesting balancing them all, but to my great surprise today I actually just turned around and finished them all. They have all had their finishing touches put on them, and I like them so much as well. As soon as they dry, I am going to take them off their stretchers and roll them up to bring home to you. They are so cool, and I am getting better (no famous museum artist or anything), but I'm at least able to use it as a medium to express myself. Additionally, I got a lot done on my mosaic, and it was nice. I am getting close to putting some of the finishing touches on it and then I will pour the cement and get it ready to bring home! That will be so cool!

And if that wasn't enough, I had a really good writing class and I am convinced that I can conquer any type of poetry now, but I'm enjoying writing things to my husband, so I will continue to do my collected poems of my life with my husband. So that's how my day went!